


Thor & His S'more

by crime_fighting_spiderling



Series: Doth Stark Know You Weareth His Billion Dollar Spider Spandex [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Domestic Avengers, Iron-Dad, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Has a Family, Spider-son, Thor gets a s'more, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, bye bye toaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25833346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crime_fighting_spiderling/pseuds/crime_fighting_spiderling
Summary: Peter introduces Thor to a s’more for the first time and a toaster is sacrificed for the good of the cause.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Sacrificial Toaster, Peter Parker & Thor, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Thor & S'mores
Series: Doth Stark Know You Weareth His Billion Dollar Spider Spandex [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874431
Comments: 2
Kudos: 134





	Thor & His S'more

Peter was tempted to let out an exasperated sigh when his teacher announced the homework. Twenty pages for a simple lab report due next class? Who decided that was a good idea? Apparently Peter’s chemistry teacher did.

He guessed that just meant he wouldn’t be able to go to Ned’s that afternoon. The two had been talking about it for the last few days. They were going to build another lego set. They had finished literally all the star wars sets that they could buy, at the least the ones that were cheap enough. Ned had found some superhero themed ones and had gotten a Spider-Man one as a joke.

Ned told him that it was meant to replicate his fight with the Vulture. There were a few buildings as well as the beach he’d left Toomes at. You could also build the Stark plane with a room inside. Apparently there was a Vulture figurine as well as a Spider-Man one, and there were even webs that came with it!

Peter was definitely bummed about not being able to go. Ned probably would be too. He was not looking forward to telling his friend. They’d have to try for next Sunday. Darn.

He looked towards the agenda sitting in his backpack. He mentally glared at the object, not that it really did anything wrong. May had been trying to get him to use it since he started forgetting assignments in eighth grade. Just yesterday May had reminded him again of how much it had helped her in high school and blah blah blah. He loved his aunt, but that doesn’t mean he has to like her lectures.

Sometimes when he was feeling responsible, he’d write down something in the agenda. First of all, this was rare, and second, he never checked it afterwards. Besides, couldn’t he use Karen for this stuff too?

He decided against using the agenda. He faced back towards the teacher in an attempt to actually listen to the lesson, even if his efforts were futile. It seemed like that darn agenda was watching him, like it was telling him he should use it, that he would regret his decision later. He mentally stuck his tongue out at it.

\---

Happy called him a literal second after the bell rang. Yes, he’d counted. It was an ongoing thing they had, to see how close Happy could get to the bell when he called Peter. It wasn’t exactly an official challenge, but Peter had once questioned the man’s constant accuracy and it seemed like Happy got closer and closer to the bell each time. Today was probably his personal best.

Peter fished the phone out of his pocket after fiddling with the velcro. It was not exactly an easy task to do while speed walking towards the school’s main exit. He managed to answer it before the ringing stopped.

“One second, Happy.” He told the man, smirking on his side of the line.

“I could have sworn I called right when the bell rang.” He argued grumpily. “You better not be robbing me of my victory, squirt.”

“Why would I ever do that to you, Happy? You know I love you.” Peter joked. He could hear Happy attempting to stifle a chuckle. Since Peter could hear it, Happy’s attempt at hiding it clearly didn’t work.

“Just get in the car, kid. I have things to do. I’m a busy man with an actual job.” The man told him, more seriously this time, putting the jokes aside.

Peter didn’t really like that side of Happy. The first several months had been like that. Happy practically ignored him for a while, and then Peter started going to the tower more often so Happy eventually got used to him.

So yeah, Peter wasn’t overly fond of strict Happy. “You sure, Happy? I thought Mr. Stark hired you as my personal chauffeur.” Peter joked again.

He was nearing the main exit of his school, after going down three flights of stairs. The way up had been absolute torture, especially while wearing a backpack, but the way down wasn’t too bad.

Peter heard Happy sputter in protest. He smiled in satisfaction and hung up on the man before he could say anything else, and to spite him some more. He’d see him in less than a minute anyways, since he was walking outside right now.

He could already see the car Happy drove him in. Peter’s personal chaperone was at the very front of the line. That was a serious accomplishment. Some of the stay at home moms could get really aggressive, according to Happy.

The man was pouting at his phone, probably from Peter hanging up on him. It was a funny sight. Happy glared at him as he hopped into the passenger seat.

“Looks like Happy is a little grumpy.” Peter teased him harmlessly as he slammed the car door. Name jokes like these were very common. The man just rolled his eyes at the teen.

“It only ever seems to happen when you’re around.” He replied, pretending to glare at Peter. They were pulling out of the loop, and turned onto a side road.

“I don’t believe that. You’re grumpy practically all the time.” Peter corrected the driver.

“Yeah, Tony plays a big part in that too.” Happy admitted. The man hit the pedal as they got on the highway. “I don’t understand how he doesn’t get on your nerves after a while, or even a few seconds.” Happy added.

“Oh, he absolutely does. Ms. Potts thinks it’s one of his hobbies.” The kid replied.

“Sounds pretty realistic.” The driver noted.

They sat in silence for a few moments, the only noise being the hum of the engine underneath them. It didn’t take long for Peter to start energetically complaining about his lab report, among other annoying school things. The kid was speaking so fast it was hard to follow, so Happy just nodded and replied with a “mhm” for the majority of Peter’s rant. The boy didn’t even seem to notice.

The one sided conversation ended when Happy pulled up to the tower. As usual, Peter quickly jumped out of the car, barely waiting long enough for Happy to park.

“Thanks Happy, see you tomorrow!” Peter shouted in a rush, before disappearing through the front doors. Happy shook his head at the energized kid everyone seemed to love.

\---

“Hello, Peter. Would you like me to alert Boss that you’re here?” Friday asked as he entered the private elevator. Only the Avengers and residents of the tower had access to this elevator. It was the only one that could go up to the top floors and only the people allowed up there knew about the elevator’s presence.

“No need, Fri. He’ll see me in a minute or two anyways.” Peter instructed her as the elevator quickly ascended to the top set of floors.

With the amount of importance the tower had, you wouldn’t think something as trivial as elevator music would be included. That’s at least what Peter had thought the first few times he’d come up to the top floors. As it turns out, it’s very important to Mr. Stark for there to be some sort of entertainment as people wait.

Thankfully Tony was smart enough not to make it the generic classical music normally used in elevators. Instead, it was set to play AC/DC as well as some other hard rock bands, including Led Zeppelin. Recently, the music changed to something completely different from Mr. Stark’s choice of music.

Somebody must have hacked the system. Peter constantly wondered who would be able to do such a thing. (It was Peter. Or more accurately Ned, who Peter managed to convince into changing the elevator music.) The kid patiently waited, while listening to Hamilton, which must have been set by the mysterious elevator music hacker.

It was much nicer than the public elevators. While those were definitely larger and could fit more people, Tony had set it to play opera music. It was worse for Peter with his advanced senses. He avoided the elevator at all costs. This normally wasn’t a problem since whenever he came he went to the private floors anyways.

Peter listened to Hamilton for another few seconds before the doors slid open, revealing the main living room for the Avengers, and Peter, since technically he wasn’t an Avenger (yet). 

The boy was taken by surprise. He had expected to see the same thing he normally saw when entering the living room. Clint would be doing something he shouldn’t be doing, Nat would pretend not to notice Clint doing whatever he wasn’t supposed to be doing so she wouldn’t have to stop him, Steve would be doing something righteous, and Bucky and Sam would join Steve’s righteous activity whilst quarreling.

Instead, Peter was welcomed with the sound of booming laughter. It felt like the sound was vibrating his skull, it was so loud. Curiosity drew Peter towards the noise. He could tell it was coming from the section where the couch and TV were located.

“Holy shit.” Peter whispered as he saw who was sprawled across the sofa. He immediately covered his mouth because he just cursed! Cap would be so disappointed. There was some comedian walking, or more like hopping, around the stage. The man was waving his crutches around in the air, and appeared to be telling some funny story about his left leg, or more accurately, his lack of left leg.

Thor laughed again, but this time not quite so loudly, so Peter wasn’t as affected by it. There were at least two boxes of Pop-Tarts lying empty on the coffee table in the center of the living space. There was the crinkly sound of a wrapper, and Peter assumed that Thor had managed to eat all of these Pop-Tarts.

“You are truly a very humorous man, Josh Sundquist!” Thor exclaimed to the man on the TV. The comedian was now gesturing towards, well, empty space, since there was no leg there.

Peter wasn’t exactly sure what to do. What are you supposed to do when you see an Asgardian ruler sitting on a sofa in your second home? There certainly wasn’t a book on this or anything.

Sure, Peter had already met Thor. But that had been a completely different situation. They hadn’t been able to do any introductions, because Peter’s class had been there watching them.

Before Peter could decide his next course of action, Thor’s voice boomed once more. “Hello there, mini Stark! I did not see you there.” The man had a huge grin on his face upon noticing Peter, and seemed excited that he was there.

Peter fumbled with his words as he replied, “I’m, uh, well, it’s really cool seeing you again Mr. Thor.” Well, that was kind of embarrassing. It wasn’t as bad as the first impression he must have made on the King of Wakanda when Peter first met him.

“I was told that the team went on a mission.” Thor informed him. “They mentioned something about evil flying monkeys and the Wizard of Oz.” Peter’s face scrunched up in confusion. It was too early for stuff like this, even if it was the afternoon. “Do you know what they meant by that?”

Peter shook his head. Apparently Thor was just as confused as he was, except that Peter at least understood the Wizard of Oz reference.

“Oh well.” The Asgardian spoke. He was probably used to not understanding things on this planet.

“Have you heard of this man, Josh Sundquist?” Thor asked him, gesturing to the man on the screen. It sounded like the man was talking about superheroes, based on the snippets he’d been hearing, but he wasn’t completely sure.

“Uh, I think my friend may have mentioned him to me at some point.” Peter answered. He briefly remembered Ned showing him one of the videos a while ago. Besides that, he didn’t know anything about the comedian.

“He is truly inspirational.” Thor added. He noticed Peter still standing awkwardly near him. “Do you want one of these s’more Pop-Tarts? They are very tasty, although I’ve heard the real s’mores are much better, but I’ve yet to try one.” The Asgardian pulled out a package of Pop-Tarts from the box closest to him and held it out to Peter.

“Yeah, sure.” He said, because what else was he supposed to do? Say no? Peter sat on the couch next to Thor. He tried his very best to open the wrapper without making too much noise, but he should have known it wouldn’t work despite his efforts.

Peter broke off pieces of the Pop-Tart so that there wouldn’t be too many crumbs. Mr. Stark never liked it when he got things messy, which was hypocritical because the man himself did it too. 

Thor seemed to be covered in crumbs. They were in his hair, covering his clothes, and on the couch. Tony would probably make Thor clean that up later.

They watched Josh Sundquist talk about the Battle of New York several years ago. “... and I was very distracted because I was like, ‘I look exactly like Loki’...” Realization set in to the two heroes on the couch and the duo burst out laughing.

“He does look a lot like my brother.” Thor said between fits of laughter.

“What if we had the two of them meet?” Peter suggested, imagining Loki meeting Josh. Thor’s eyes widened.

“That is a brilliant idea, Starkson!” The man exclaimed. “How can I contact this Josh Sundquist? Should I send him an electronic letter?”

“Oh, I was just joking, Thor.” Peter explained, 

“Well, in that case, your joke was very funny.” The man responded. Peter didn’t bother mentioning how that had literally made no sense.

Peter’s eyes widened as he remembered something Thor had mentioned earlier.

“You’ve never had a s’more before?” Peter asked Thor, astonished. Thor needed to actually go outside and do activities outside of the tower. Maybe a camping trip would be good for him.

“That is correct.” Thor answered, completely unaware of what he was missing.

Not even fifteen minutes later, Thor and Peter both had marshmallow and chocolate on their faces. Thor was doing his best to wipe it all off with his hands, but there wasn’t much he could do about the stickiness it left behind. The god eventually gave up and washed off what he could in the kitchen sink. He was left with a wet face and, unknown to the man, white pieces of marshmallow stuck in his beard. Peter had an easier time getting the mess off his face due to his lack of facial hair.

“Mr. Stark won’t be very happy about his toaster.” Peter stated.

Originally, they were going to toast their marshmallows in the toaster because there wasn’t a fire pit anywhere nearby, unless you wanted to count the artificial fireplace. There was a change in the plan when Thor started to get impatient and took matters into his own hands. The result was a short-circuited toaster and some incredibly burnt marshmallows.

At least they tasted better that way.

“A toaster is a small price to pay for a good s’more.” Thor replied.

“You’re not wrong.” Peter agreed with the Asgardian.

\---

Once Peter finally got the guts to reveal to Thor that there was marshmallow in his beard, the Asgardian went to his quarters to take a quick shower.

That was when Peter heard the sound of repulsors from outside the tower. The rest of the Avengers must have finished their mission. Peter panicked. How was Mr. Stark going to react to the toaster? It’s not like he wouldn’t notice, the whole kitchen smelled like something was burning.

Peter grabbed the febreze can in the cabinets underneath the sink in the nearest bathroom. He sprayed down the kitchen until the burning smell was nearly gone. Now the kitchen smelled strongly of ‘linen and sky,’ according to the can. Not that he knew what ‘sky’ smelled like.

Peter pulled out his homework and set it on the kitchen counter. He may as well do something useful and productive while he waits for the heroes to come in. The blank chemistry lab report sitting in front of him was very unappealing. It wasn’t difficult at all, but twenty pages was completely unnecessary for something so simple. Peter knew he was going to have to include every little detail, no matter how insignificant it was, in order to get to the twenty page requirement.

“Why do I smell clean clothes?” A voice behind Peter spoke. He turned around to find Mr. Stark in the doorway, followed by Nat and Clint. “Were you doing laundry?” Tony asked him incredulously.

“No!” Peter assured him. He was baffled that Mr. Stark thought he did laundry. Yes, the scent from the febreze was very strong, but really, when had Peter ever come to the tower to do laundry?

Clint rushed over to the coffee machine and poured the coffee grinds in. He was practically bouncing as he waited for the coffee to finish brewing. Peter could see Mr. Stark glaring at Clint as he watched the coffee slowly drip into the pot. It didn’t take Clint long to notice.

“I’m not going to drink out of the pot again, Tony. I swear I’ve learned my lesson.” The archer defended. “I’ll waterfall it this time so that I don’t get my grimy germs all over your precious coffee pot.”

Mr. Stark didn’t say a word as he opened one of the cabinets and pulled out two mugs, one of which read ‘this coffee is not mine.’

Clint gasped. “Is that for me? I didn’t know you cared! Does this mean I have permission to drink your coffee?”

“Well, you were drinking it anyways, so it doesn’t really matter.” Tony grumbled in response.

“I must be really special if you bought a mug for me!” Clint went on.

“Yes, Clint, you’re very special.” Nat admitted sarcastically. Peter tried to hide a smile from her comment. Clint ecstatically poured the coffee into his new mug.

Thor must have finished his shower, because he came into the kitchen with his dripping hair in a man bun. “I see you have successfully defeated the Ozzonian wizard!” He boomed.

“No, just the monkeys. The wizard is supposedly a good guy.” Tony grumbled. Peter knew that Mr. Stark had something against Dr. Strange, but he didn’t understand why. He seemed like a pretty nice guy. He also did the cool spinny, twirly, orange glowy thing that can somehow create portals, and has a glowy green necklace.

“Well that’s fantastic that you defeated the monkeys. I may have defeated your toaster, Man of Iron.” Thor revealed, gesturing towards the toaster that was sacrificed earlier.

“Ah! So that’s why it smells like laundry!” Tony reasoned. He hardly seemed to care that his toaster was destroyed, which surprised Peter. “Friday, order another one of these toasters, same make and model.”

“I’m so sorry Mr. Stark! I promise we didn’t mean to —” Peter was cut off.

“Kid, it’s just a toaster, they cost like, thirty bucks.” Tony assured him.

Peter still wasn’t satisfied. “I can fix it! I’ll bring it down to the lab and rewire it and everything!”

“I mean, that’s completely unnecessary, but if it makes you happy, then go for it. I’ll cancel the order.” Tony arranged.

Peter excitedly went over to the toaster and unplugged it from the wall. He started picking it up so he could take it to the lab, but quickly dropped it back on the counter with a yelp. “It’s just a tad bit hot.” Peter stated the obvious.

“Once you fix it, we can make s’mores for everyone!” Thor enthusiastically suggested.

“Ah, so that’s what you destroyed the toaster for. Can’t blame you for that, it’s a complete mood.” Tony said too confidently.

Peter cringed along with everyone else in the room that had even an ounce of knowledge about Gen Z humour.

“You don’t even deserve an A for effort, Mr. Stark.”

**Author's Note:**

> so I told some people in the notes of my field trip fic that I would make a series of one-shots, so here it is, two years later! I plan to continue this but no promises when the next one will be uploaded because I only really write when I get random bursts of motivation. I have some little scenes I really want to use though, so I might have to write another one soon just to use those scenes. anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed reading this!!


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